*me watching hollywood movies about ancient egypt*
ALNAOAIHNSO:IBHNSOISBHNDIOKSBD
New form of joke: telling someone to roll an ability check for something that obviously doesn’t need that type of check
“I wanna see if this dead body is anyone we recognize”
“Roll an acrobatics check”
You say joke, but I like to use it as an opportunity to genuinely fuck with players.
“I want to see if the dead body is anyone we know.”
“Roll acrobatics.”
“11?”
“The body seizes you by the wrists and lunges at your throat with its teeth, howling like a demon. You are grappled. Roll initiative.”
Or, “I want to check the chest for traps.”
“Roll performance.”
“Okay, uh. 17…?”
“You start whistling quietly while you go about tapping, poking, and examining the sides of the chest. It’s a pretty catchy tune you picked up a couple days ago from the bard.”
“Alright, neat, and the chest?”
“The chest starts humming along.”
OH MY GOSH THAT SECOND ONE IS A RLLY GOOD IDEA
MIMICS ARE THE BANE AND BLESSING OF MY EXISTENCE.
Our DnD group has had quite enough of sentient furniture tyvm
Wizard who got tired of fighting and casts fucked up unethical spells like “super brain hemorrhage” to end them faster
One time I did “Summon Water” inside a guys lungs and the GM allowed it because he had been playing for years and never seen anyone do that
Me “I can raise the temperature of a space by 5 degrees (Fahrenheit) per success”
DM “Okay.”
Me “And that’s 6 successes, so 30 degrees…”
DM “Okay…”
Me “And ‘inside the human body’ is a space, right?”
DM “…I don’t like where this is going.”
Me “So I’m going to raise the temperature inside his body 30 degrees.”
DM “Yeah, so he’s dead now. He was fine, and then went through all the stages of heat stroke in half a second before his body went ‘No thank you’ and just shut off to stop it from being so hot. Good job.”
The Stonewall You Know Is a Myth. And That’s O.K. | NYT Celebrating Pride
Happy Pride! Know your history!
Mens Fashion - www.GoGetGlam.com
…. *scribbles furiously on notepad*
Tips
For the guys, butch women and non binary people all there. I’m a woman, but I’m reblogging this for anyone who finds this useful. ❤️
literally there is nothing on earth more fun than characters with powers that respond to their emotions like that is truly the best shit in the world
when someone gets so mad they start glowing and shit around them starts breaking? poetic fucking cinema baby
new jobs are fun
Us: Hey Valve, it’s been about 880 or so days since the last comic update! We know you’re super busy, but, see, we care SO much about this franchise and all and we don’t want you to forget it, because we appreciate your work on it so much! We haven’t gotten anything since Jungle Inferno, think you can toss us something to keep your good ol’ fans sated-?
Valve: [liting a blunt, taking a single puff then throws it off a 8th story balcony] Meat Fortress.
Us:
Us: heh, I’m sorry, wha-?
Valve:
Us:
Us: o-Oh…?!
